1.5 stars
Let’s talk about the best part of this book – the cover. It’s an amazing cover to what I thought would be an amazing book. A continuation of Lucy’s story from Dracula? It sounded right up my alley. I loved Dracula, and I expected to love this. But that’s not the case.
The book starts off pretty well, if a little slow. It’s told in 3 perspectives from the beginning – Lucy’s past before she’s turned, her transcripts to her therapist after, and Iris. I enjoyed the two perspectives of Lucy. She explains how she survived her murder in Dracula, and what happened to her after in the transcripts, and her life with Mina, her mother, and the other men from the original book. I hated Iris’s parts. She’s unbelievably whiny and bitchy without any explanation as to why, and by the time it’s explained, it’s too late to care.
And then we move on to the next part of the story. Had this solely been a book about Lucy, it probably would have been okay. But it turns into this Twilight-esque, “feminine empowerment”, teenage drama garbage story dealing with a vampire MLM cult. I never thought I’d be typing a review about a vampire MLM cult which is really a pathetically veiled attempt by White to show her hate for a state and group of people, but here we are.
Lucy is portrayed as a victim to everything in life. All the men secretly want her money, her mother is abusive, and Mina doesn’t love her the way she wants. After she’s turned, she becomes this beacon of feminine power who singlehandedly stops World War I by telling the men in charge to stop, becomes a spy during World War II and helps end many plots against the allies, and changes the minds of other female vampires to become good people because she’s a vampire with morals. Yes, really. She meets Iris, the sole heir to Goldaming Life (because White couldn’t be bothered to remember that Arthur’s lordly last name is actually Godalming, even though she professes to love the book SO MUCH), a whiny teenager who is ~special~. So a hundred plus year old vampire falls in insta love with a special teenager? Twilight, is that you? Also, the pet names. Butter chicken and my little cabbage? Right up there with spider monkey. Barf.
Iris, our super special teenager, has few redeeming qualities. She’s paranoid because she believes her mother’s entire workforce is out to get her, but makes friends instantly with a cab driver and his husband and Elle, the antiques appraiser, because queer people can’t be evil, obviously (here’s looking at you Kevin Spacey). She treated everyone like absolute garbage, whether the deserve it or not, and has no problem saying how much she wishes certain people would die, get murdered, etc., because she believes they should and obviously she is totally right and justified in her thinking. She also calls someone a psychopath for texting with a semicolon when she “almost has a literature degree.” Like, what? I guess I’m a psychopath cause I text with correct punctuation all the time.
In the author’s note, White states that she believes that Lucy was queer, causes reasons, and also that all the men in her life just wanted to murder her and take her money, and that she was this helpless victim to everything in life and she just needed to be turned into a vampire so she could become this strong, empowered female and change the world. None of the characters from the original book that end up in Lucy Undying even closely resemble the originals. White simply took the names and changed them into what she thought they should be (except Arthur, cause she couldn’t even get the name right). I’m not sure how White could profess to love Dracula so much, and then eviscerate it so completely. Honey, I have some news for you. You don’t love Dracula; you don’t even like it.
Also, White has this personal vendetta against Utah, because reasons? I’m not really sure why. But you can’t claim to be this person who loves and accepts everyone and then goes on to hate millions of people because you feel justified in it. Do I think there are problems in Utah? Yes. Do I think there’s problems with the church and other religions? Yes. Do I think MLM’s are pyramid schemes? Yes. Do I hate millions of people I’ve never met because of it and try to convince other people that that hate is justified? No.
This is probably going to be the last book by White I read. I can’t take her self-righteous crusade anymore. 1.5 stars cause the cover really is lovely and there are a few parts of Lucy’s early story that were interesting.