-5 stars

DNF at 49%

Buckle up, cause this is gonna be one of the most rage filled reviews I’ve written in a while.

If I could give this book negative stars I would. The first chapter really set the tone for this book. Right off the bat, there is a man watching porn loudly in the library, And when someone complains to Darcy, she almost gets offended over it, because it’s a public library. Like, what? Her library has absolutely no rules regarding watching porn (with the exception of child porn), which is wild. I thought most libraries did, because, you know, children. And just because you’re in a public library shouldn’t mean you can do whatever you want, because most public places do still have rules, as well as cities, counties, and states having laws. I’m just astounded that that is a thing and that no one seems bothered by it. Her wife asks if the man watching porn had been masturbating if she would have kicked him out, and she says no because she doesn’t get paid enough. Later in the chapter, a reporter comes to the library to ask about the porn policy. Darcy seems more offended that he’s outraged that it’s allowed than at the actual person watching porn loudly, and gives him a lesson on libraries being democratic institutions. When he states she should pray after she informs him she can recommend philosophy or theology books if he wants to explore the question of God – as in pray for guidance because she is okay with people watching porn in libraries – she takes it as a threat. I would like to note that I looked up the policies and guidelines for all my local libraries, and they all have rules for internet use, which includes technology protection that is “designed to block or filter visual descriptions that are child porn, harmful to minors, or obscene, without, in as much as possible, infringing on the rights of patron’s access. They may not use email, chatrooms, social media and such to view sexually explicit material.” Cause, you know, children.

In the next chapter, we see that the reporter has written a story about the library. And while I don’t agree with him calling them communist sex dens, I do mostly agree with the sentence they “allow perverts to watch depraved sex acts next to our children and grandmothers.” While it isn’t specifically stated who is around him, there are others around, which could easily have been children or grandmothers, or people who simply don’t want to witness that in public. Darcy laments that the reporter, Declan, appears to be her age, and they most likely grew up exposed to the same school curriculum, news, and pop culture, and is disturbed that he turned out the way he did. Ma’am. Respectfully, what the fuck? I love my local library system. I use it all the time. I pay for it with my taxes and vote yes for the tax that continues to fund it along with art institutions, parks, and zoos. I do not want my taxes paying for people to watch porn. But luckily I don’t have to since they don’t allow it.

Moving along, at one point Darcy is in the bathroom and a coworker is trying to get a hold of her for a situation. Darcy states that she finally answers because she is annoyed at being shouted at in the sanctity of a public washroom stall. What about being subjected to someone else watching porn loudly in the sanctity of a library, which is supposed to be a quiet, safe space? And then a patron curses a few times because she couldn’t figure out what happened to her printing job, and later Darcy is talking to her wife about it. She states that she didn’t have to help her, because she doesn’t have to help patrons who swear at her and that there’s a code of conduct that states patrons can’t swear at employees, among other things, and she could have asked her to leave. Soooooo… you’re offended that someone swore at you and should have told them to leave, but you wouldn’t make someone who is masturbating leave, and had no problem with the porn thing? And your code of conduct says people can’t swear but there’s nothing against porn? Got it. That makes total sense. And then she moves to complaining that she hates it when attention is focused on seedy, unconstructive things instead of the good stuff. And it’s only been 4 chapters.

When Darcy has friends over and they question the porn policy, she sidesteps by first going on a tangent about how the erosion of social services is the problem and then asking what the definition of porn is, whether it should only be accessible to people who can afford home internet or personal devices, and whether it’s fair that poor people can’t watch it and that its privileged content only for those who can afford it. Her friend states that she doesn’t see why anyone would need access to porn, and Darcy counters that if people don’t need porn then libraries should get of other things people don’t need, like comics, and that if libraries ban access to it, then they’ll just ban everything else. Porn is not a right. The internet is also not a right. You don’t need porn to survive.

Also, for being a self-proclaimed feminist, Darcy sure does shit on women a lot, with statements such as believing that every woman considered having sex with a man self-harm, it’s socially scripted that they like men, how every woman was put off being with a man, and thinking all women wanted to look the same for weddings- worryingly sickly thin, just enough definition in the arms to look trim but not masculine or strong, an elaborate push-up bra. Is there an opposite term for “pick me?” Cause that’s what this feels like. Every women is different. We all have different feelings and ideas, like and dislike different things, have different dreams and plans, fall for different people. We’re not all drawn to men for power, privilege, and safety. Some of us genuinely want to be with one for love and attraction. And guess what? It’s totally fine. We don’t all feel like we have to marry a man to prove we matter, or that we’re desirable, respectable ladies, like the book states. And sure, some weddings are performative and overboard, but not all of them. I’m a woman. I have a condo, a good paying job, a vehicle, and a cat. I pay my own bills, do my own chores, fix my own stuff around the house when I can, and get help when I can’t. I may not be married yet, but I would like to be, and not because I think it proves I matter or makes me desirable. I would like someone to be with, for that love and companionship, and yes I’d like it to be a man. So get the fuck out of here with all this crap. Don’t call yourself a feminist when all you do is look down on other women. There seems to be a lot of internalized homophobia too. Darcy says she cheated on her boyfriend with a woman (before breaking up with him and marrying Joy), but she didn’t actually consider it cheating because she didn’t consider the woman a person like she considered men people. Also, gay women can be feminine. There’s nothing that says when you’re a lesbian you automatically have to stop wearing dresses or liking feminine things. When my sister married her wife, they both wore big, sparkly wedding dresses, because that’s exactly what they wanted to do and it’s okay for lesbians to wear big, sparkly wedding dresses. Or pantsuits. Or jeans and a t-shirt.

This book is like a train wreck you can’t look away from. That’s really the only reason I made it to 49%. I couldn’t look away. But I eventually got to the point where even though I could easily finish it, I decided not to because I happen to like my brain cells and felt them disintegrating the longer I read.